Note, Carly and CardsCards Did a Game 1 Recap Podcast – only 15 minutes. Feel free to listen to our agony here:
Opending Day Podcast

You know what makes us a bunch of sick psychos? Each one of us, no matter how much of a life we actually have, woke up this morning and immediately started talking Cardinals on Twitter.

We love it. And we know the Twitter Interaction actually enhances the game for us. It’s being surrounded by thousands of people who are cheering on for the same thing, living the highs and the lows, all while not spilling beer on us, or throwing up on our carpet.

An outsider would think to themselves, “So these people just sit on their devices all day on Twitter and talk to strangers about baseball and how terrible Mike Matheny is?” Yes, guy. That is exactly what we do.

It’s perfect.

So if you happened to miss today’s game on Twitter, here is some of the best of what we’ve found:

It’s opening day. Baseball is back.

Welcome back baseball, we’ve missed you. #STLCards

— Anthony Braddy (@anth_braddy) April 3, 2016

Baseball. Is. Back. #StlCards

— Drew Thomas (@dpct22) April 3, 2016

St. Louis Cardinal Baseball. Is. Back. #STLCards

— Matt Fleck (@MJFleck10) April 3, 2016

HERE WE GO BABY! #STLCards pic.twitter.com/YC43NTGgmH

— Cardinal Kingdom (@STLCards18) April 3, 2016

This is terrifying…

It’s finally here – 2016 @MLB #OpeningDay!! Let’s Go @Cardinals!! #STLCards #CapsOn pic.twitter.com/fBppDvB3EP

— Zach Fisher (@ZFishFFish) April 3, 2016

The Cardinals were shut down in the 1st inning.

I’m already getting PISSED

— Nicole (@nicoleeann94) April 3, 2016

I love this…

It’s not even the end of the first and already people are complaining about the complaining

— Angry Cardinal Fan (@roseyisking) April 3, 2016

Nothing signals the start of #STLCards baseball like a 1-2-3 first inning. Mabry couldn’t be more proud.

— Daniel Winnett (@StlWinn) April 3, 2016

Seeing David Freese in a Pirates jersey just hurts. #STLCards #OpeningDay

— Curtis Kalin (@CurtisKalin) April 3, 2016

 

David Freese now batting vs Adam Wainwright. #STLCards pic.twitter.com/QfOExmQxNT

— The Birds On The Bat (@BirdsOnTheBat13) April 3, 2016

I don’t like living in a world in which I have to root against David Freese. #STLCards

— John Rabe (@johnrabe) April 3, 2016

This doesn’t interest me. Posting because she’s cute.

Watching the cards, drinking a Busch with the old man, quality Sunday. #STLCards #coolasamountainstream pic.twitter.com/V6eHMp35Jm

— Sarah Baraba (@sarahmbaraba) April 3, 2016

Then the Cardinals went on their now familiar, we refuse to even put a ball in play streak.

4 of 6. I seem mabry is doing his job very well. #STLCards

— Nick (@batsandballs4) April 3, 2016

Tommy Pham got hurt. Jesus Christ, Tommy Pham got hurt.

Pham never met a trainer he didn’t like. Must have fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies in the training room.

— Kevin Reynolds (@deckacards) April 3, 2016

(no idea what this means)

Tommy Pham se une al festival de lesionados de los Cardenales. Deja el partido con tirón en el oblicuo izquierdo.

— Arving Gonzalez (@ArvingGonzalez) April 3, 2016

It only took one inning for the Cardinals to get their first injury of the season #StlCardinals #TommyPham

— Kenny Sowemimo (@kflash347) April 3, 2016

Look at this here idiot that didn’t pay attention to Pham grounding out to Freese.

Tommy Pham hasn’t even been at the plate yet & he’s out of the game. Matt Adams to 1st base and Matt Holliday to left field.#StlCards

— THE DINO SHOW (@DINO590THEFAN) April 3, 2016

“Slight oblique strain” is code for his ribs fell out. #stlcards

— cigarmike (@cigarmike) April 3, 2016

Then the Pirates absolutely ruined the rest of our lives.

Six months I wait for baseball and then it’s bullshit #STLCards

— A Blog of Their Own (@BlogOfTheirOwn) April 3, 2016

Mercy….I am already feeling anxious and it is only the 2nd inning of the 1st game of the season.#MamaNeedsToChill @Cardinals

— LeighAnn (@LeighAnnMac) April 3, 2016

Gyorko walked!

There goes the perfect game #STLCards

— Bob Myrvold (@bobmyrvold) April 3, 2016

Eventually, the Cardinals actually got a hit! When Holliday singled to center.

HOLY SHIT A FUCKING HIT

— Nicole (@nicoleeann94) April 3, 2016

Then the Cardinals loaded the bases! For Kolten Wong…who isn’t a lefty masher.
And he struck out. Swinging for the fences. Again.

I’m giving this a couple more innings and if this team isn’t putting up a fight I’m going to fuckin sleep

— Angry Cardinal Fan (@roseyisking) April 3, 2016

“@StlCardsCards: There was so much wong with that sequence. #stlcards” And it starts w/Wong hitting ahead of Gyorko against a LHP.

— Kevin Reynolds (@deckacards) April 3, 2016
 

It’s actually painful to watch this offense. #STLCards

— Bobby Hrbek (@BobbyHrbek) April 3, 2016</blo

Kolton!!!! #STLCards pic.twitter.com/CYqChdu99S

— Dizzy (@DizzyDean_17) April 3, 2016

I love finding accounts that PERHAPS go a little farther off the deep end than I might.

Mozeliak extending Wong for 5 years was a little silly. Make him earn it #STLCards

— Antho (@TheAntho815) April 3, 2016

#KoltenWong is a Double A player at best #STLCards

— TigersCards (@Tigers_SEC) April 3, 2016

Can we just put Gyorko at second and play Garcia at SS? That would’ve been more logical. #STLCards

— Tyler Cook (@TheTCookBook) April 3, 2016

Soon, we had an official game, but not a better game.

.@Cardinals, April Fools Day was two days ago. Cut the shit and play ball.

— Carly Schaber (@Carly_Schaber) April 3, 2016

So far, today’s stat line for the #STLCards is 0.

— Todd Washburn (@TheToddWashburn) April 3, 2016

Then the Cardinals loaded the bases again! and Wong batted…again! It did not go well…again!

Kolten Wong not making a case to start against lefties……or righties either #STLCards

— Eric Mondhink (@emondhinkFH05) April 3, 2016

Another atrocious AB by Wong, inexcusable….#STLCards

— Joe Stafford (@JStaffordMB) April 3, 2016

I’m going to throw up

— Carly Schaber (@Carly_Schaber) April 3, 2016

Good thing we made those big offseason moves to help those holes in the offense

— Keely (@keelynstl) April 3, 2016

shitty hitting is one thing, shitty discipline is another. the Cardinals have both. bad combo.

— Sports Human (@sportshuman) April 3, 2016

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#STL #STLouis #STLCards #Cards #MLB pic.twitter.com/ft34krFGYM

— Saint Louis Clothing (@stlouiscl0thing) April 3, 2016

Matt Adams thinks he’s playing a game of Jungle Golf at the local putt-putt course. What a disaster

— Nicole (@nicoleeann94) April 3, 2016

RT if you’ve scored more runs than the Cardinals today

— Holden_Cantor (@HoldenCantor) April 3, 2016

#TeflonJohn pic.twitter.com/vlHi69QZYs

— Sports Human (@sportshuman) April 3, 2016

We saw Oh make his debut, but more importantly we saw a whole lotta this:

2 walks
Oh no?

A grounder and two strikeouts
Oh yeah

— viva el birdos (@vivaelbirdos) April 3, 2016

Oh dear…
And the Cardinals kept striking out, and perhaps people got a bit frustrated.

Well that’s it for me. Later folks. What a joke of a team

— Angry Cardinal Fan (@roseyisking) April 3, 2016

Fresse is performing like the Ex your run into on the street and you’re suddenly filled with regret over how good they’re doing. #STLCards

— Matt Sabados (@BigMattAHH) April 3, 2016

Getting ready to take out the #STLCards offense pic.twitter.com/YsahEpxoov

— The Redbird Way (@TheRedbirdWay) April 3, 2016

I’m interested to hear what Waino’s excuses will be for this start. #stlcards

— Vladifan (@STLMIZFAN) April 3, 2016

This is just painful. #stlcards

— Turnip Shepherd (@grantsales) April 3, 2016

If you would’ve told me that the Cards would strand the bases loaded twice & not score today, I would’ve…
Believed every word. #STLCards

— Cardinals fan in NC (@kluttz_fan) April 3, 2016

Grichuk on pace for 486 strikeouts this season. BlogOfTheirOwn on pace for 148,295 swear words this season. #STLCards

— A Blog of Their Own (@BlogOfTheirOwn) April 3, 2016

Figured out why the Cardinals offense is having trouble scoring runs. pic.twitter.com/it6ojhiDjm

— Jay Hashop (@sevenfuturehit) April 3, 2016

Then Seth, ohhhh Seth…

“This program may not be copied without the permission of the Cardinals.”

Mate, no-one in STL would copy this shitshow #stlcards

— Turnip Shepherd (@grantsales) April 3, 2016

I really don’t want to hear… ‘Maness is trying to find his sinker” for half the season #STLCards

— stan perry (@stan_stanperry3) April 3, 2016

Maness is still horrible. Era 4.20 last year and if a guy doesn’t improve he shouldn’t be on the team. His spring was terrible. #STLCards

— Jonathan Gann (@jrgann_10) April 3, 2016

Maness is still horrible. Era 4.20 last year and if a guy doesn’t improve he shouldn’t be on the team. His spring was terrible. #STLCards

— Jonathan Gann (@jrgann_10) April 3, 2016

Maness being Maness #STLCards

— Fred Bates (@BunkStl) April 3, 2016

Pirates warming up a lefty from the crowd to face Adams, if necessary. #STLCards

— RYN (@ryn_gbsn) April 3, 2016

Soon, the Cardinals had fallen. Including the playoffs, the team has now lost 7 of 8. Recently, there isn’t much joy in Mudville, and I think you can feel that.

We’re 0-1 and I feel fine.

R.E.M. – It’s The End Of The World https://t.co/pZRHUMiI5O via @YouTube

— Wade Forrester (@CardinalHistory) April 3, 2016

The sky is falling #STLCards

— Greg Bowman (@gregbowman) April 3, 2016

 

Great job cardinals. Great fucking job.

— $tmotz22$ (@Tmotz22) April 3, 2016

 

Same fucking #Cardinals as last year. Do not have time or energy this year. Won’t waste another moment in this team. #OpeningDay #done

— NYCARDSFAN (@Tequilasunrize4) April 3, 2016

 

Just like last year. The cardinals can’t fucking get hits or hit the ball when they have men on. For fucks sake

— Danny (@Danny_TMT) April 3, 2016

Really, just to sum it up:

Cardinals fucking suck.

— Bravo_delta (@Notbravo_delta) April 3, 2016