We Won’t See You Tomorrow Night

I don’t want this to be dramatic, but it’s time to disappear. I need to disappear from time to time. We all have real lives, and I don’t talk about mine, and you probably don’t care to have it, but it’s there and it needs attention. Twitter doesn’t. I’m gassed. I’m tired. I need to step away and clear my head. I don’t know if it will be for 20 minutes, or for the rest of my life, but one this is for sure – I need it. My twitter tolerance tank is empty.

I’m almost sure I’ll be back, and probably sooner than what is smart, but I don’t know if I’ll be writing or podcasting or anything like that. I’m definitely not writing any songs, that’s for sure. I’ll try to figure out what’s best for my life for the 2019 season.

To my followers: Honestly, this is stupid and ridiculous, but I appreciate you more than you can know.  We’re Internet strangers, yes. But my personal life is void of Cardinals fans. Void of people I can discuss baseball with. Your interactions have taken away baseball loneliness.  Your favorites and retweets and comments on my stupid posts have kept me going in a blogging world where each post is putting yourself out there, and each one is stressful and nerve-wracking in a way.

I’m not like other content producers out there. You won’t see my applying for paying jobs, or making nice with a bunch of official blue checks. I’ve never been invited on the radio, and rarely an actual invitation to do a Podcast. No one is asking me to join their team, or contribute anything to a cause. Everything I’ve had has come from the few thousand actual regular people – regular Cardinals fans that follow me. I love that. I love you guys. You’re my type of people, and I respect you. I am you.

To Birds on the Black – I have always been the sore thumb on a team of stars, from when Joe and Zach were writing, to now with our newer members like Chuck and Ben. I loved it. I loved seeing the accolades the site got. I loved watching the boom of Kyle’s popularity, the creativity of Tara. Everything Gifs. I loved a little independent blog becoming loved in our small twitter carve out of the world. I respect all of you immensely.

There were quarrels and disagreements along the way, and each and every one of them had me at the center. It makes it pretty apparent who the asshole was. I’m sorry. I’m deeply sorry. I loved this team, and I also drove this team nuts, and I deeply regret it. I never tried to do it, but I couldn’t seem to avoid it. You guys deserved a better teammate.

To anyone new, a quick recap of my year. A list of you might have missed its. Just in case there’s anyone out there that wants to revisit any of my crap.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/the-very-latest-breaking-giancarlo-stanton-news

My first post for Botb, supposed to be a mockery of every blog writing Stanton crap for clicks.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/giancarlo-stanton-s-demands-for-accepting-a-trade-to-st-louis

More Stanton – more me making fun of St. Louis and how it compares to Miami

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/the-very-first-giancarlo-stanton-trade-reaction-post

No one liked this post about how our bias is impacted by the results we get. I loved it. No one read it. This is a recurring theme for me.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/cardinals-land-big-fish-ozuna

No one on the site had written about Ozuna being traded for, so I wrote a complete crap article about it that no one should read. Gifs told me he loved it. Gifs is a liar. Remember that kids.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/birds-on-the-black-podcast-ep-1

Podcast with Preston about Mike Matheny. Poor kid, poor poor kid.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/2017-good-riddance
  2. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/2017-good-riddance-part-ii
  3. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/good-riddance-2017-part-iii

2017 really sucked. It took 3 parts to explain. 2018 was better.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/welcome-to-the-family-a-tara-ble-addition

When Tara joined the team I begged to write her intro. Poor Tara.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/st-louis-cardinals-2018-season-preview

I preview the 2018 season. And I was spot on.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/a-birds-on-the-black-podcast-ep.2-w-will-leitch

I talk to Will Leitch of MLB.com for a long time. It was fun.

  1. http://stlcardscards.mlblogs.com/2018/03/27/what-it-takes-for-a-successful-season/

One line on each Cardinal for what it would take to have a successful season. Most came true!

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/the-jos%C3%A9-oquendo-sports-illustrated-article

I mocked the famous Tommy Pham SI article with one about Jose Oquendo

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/__red

Red passed away, and I’m too sad to actually look what I wrote.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/unresponsive

A personal story about my Grandma with some Cardinals stuff included

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/fixing-the-cardinals-a-roundtable

A fake roundtable on some of the personality types you see on twitter. Goofy.

  1. http://stlcardscards.mlblogs.com/2018/07/06/dexters-texters/

Dexter was reported to get a lot of supportive texts, so I made up a bunch

  1. http://stlcardscards.mlblogs.com/2018/07/09/matt-carpenter-an-appreciation/

Matt Carpenter: An Appreciation is an appreciation of Matt Carpenter

  1. http://stlcardscards.mlblogs.com/2018/07/11/alarmed/

A personal story about being a new home owner, and some troubling stuff that can happen…

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/yippee-or-yippee-the-return-of-rick-ankiel

My take on Rick Ankiel coming back

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/members-only-article-from-the-future-vol-1

Members Only mock article on Dexter Fowler winning the MVP

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/the-tell-tale-private-part

My fan fic of Yadi getting his balls crushed. It’s the best thing I wrote all year. Everyone hated it. Self esteem = dirt.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/yadier-molina-and-the-terrible-no-good-very-bad-litmus-test

Taking down some trolls on Yadier Molina

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/yadier-molina-and-the-sniper-rifle

I talk about how great Yadi’s arm is. No one read it. I guess they already knew.

  1. https://www.birdsontheblack.com/blog/ya-ya-ya-ya-yadi

The worst song ever written. What a way to go out.

There were also a few Relatively speaking podcasts that if you consume anything of mine, that’s what I would do. But I don’t know where those are honestly, and 25 seems like a good number to stop on.

See you in the future, or in the DMs, or at stlcardscards@gmail.com

Not going to lie, by doing this with 2 days left, I’m hoping to spark the Cardinals into coming back and making me look like an idiot. Not going to happen. Bye.

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