Once again @C70 is ranking the top Cardinals twitter accounts. You can vote here —>
I haven’t, because I have a life. But you sure can.
This year I’ll be combining the 10 I wrote about last year with a new batch of 10.
There are some filters:
- No one over 10K followers. They don’t need the promotion.
- No one under 18. That’s DMs only folks. mmmmmm.
- No one I know has had to endure targeted harassment. There are 2 tweeters I can think of, yes, both women, who I’d love to post here, but I really don’t want to potentially add to the creepiness that surrounds their twitter account every day. That’s my job alone.
- No official accounts or accounts with blue check-marks
- No parody accounts. Looking for real people to chat with on a nightly basis
Let me also say this. You’re not on this list. it’s 20. That’s not a big number. Maybe you’re 21. That’s not bad. Hell, maybe you’re #7. This is hardly scientific. I’m basically just winging it. But don’t come whining to me about not being listed in the top 20. Because the truth is, while if I were to really think about it, this probably isn’t my top 20, and just happens to be the 1st names that pop into my head today and blah blah blah. All of that might be true, but what’s most likely to be true is that you probably just suck at tweeting and should take this moment to realize it. You’re welcome.
OK, just for you, I dug through years of archives to find my very favorite tweets from each person. If this is the sort of thing you like reading, you need to immediately follow them too.
And now the next 10, at least so far as I think I can accurately mock them, in random order:
11. @jstriebel – Justin is a smart baseball guy. We look at individual components and often analyze them the exact same way. Then he’ll decide, 100% of the time, that the Cardinals are going to be successful regardless of everything else.
12. You probably already follow Matt. He’s hilarious and loyal. He’s also reactionary with a bit of discussing. That’s really what Twitter is all about.
13. Ol’ Diz is one of my favorite people on twitter, no doubt. She knows her stuff – I don’t mean in the “she’s following the current team” sort of way, but her adoration of Cardinals History is what makes you know she’s redbird through and through. I don’t think she’s 11 years old, but boy does she tweet that way.
14. It’s almost a shame that VHS does all of his GIF magic, because when he’s actually just normally tweeting, he’s often doing biting, spot on commentary without making me puke (like many other Cardinal’s tweeters out there) but let’s face it. We love the Gifs. He makes about 500 a day. If he ever actually gets a girlfriend, or a hobby, we’re all screwed.
15. Corey is someone I could see myself hanging out with in the real world because we both have equal amounts of endless hope, and complete apathy for humanity. We’d be a riot.
16. I have absolutely adored following Tara this year as she brings stylish, smart takes on Cardinals baseball. She attempts to be a non-reactionary, calm, measured fan, but Matheny is taking her down, and I love it.
17. You follow the Farm because, let’s face it. You have a life. And while you’re a hardcore baseball fan that WANTS to be knowledgeable about the up and coming Cardinals prospects, you also can’t keep up with 9 million 20 year old washouts. That’s what he’s for. He’s like illegal immigrant labor doing the work you don’t want to do.
18. Crash is the guy at the bar who you talk baseball with, love having a conversation with, and love that you don’t have to deal with his drunk ass at the end of the night. Completely reactionary, he might, for instance, love Aledmys Diaz one minute, and want him sent to Cuba the next. And by Cuba, I mean Guantanamo Bay. It’s like a roller coaster of laughs.
19. Carly is a millennial I don’t hate. I can’t imagine higher praise.
20. Brendan is pursuing a dream, and doing a bang up job of it already in his young age. While he’s still among we peons, he’ll have endless conversations and debates with anyone and everyone. Very valuable.
That’s 20, but there are so many great Cardinal’s fans, it was almost impossible to not go to 21. I had to do it. I’m sorry. But I have a special treat for you. Fan #21, I didn’t just go out and steal some random tweet they wrote, instead for this fan, I actually hacked in and got a future tweet they already have saved in drafts. Enjoy looking into just a few weeks from now. Scroll Down…